The Law of Christ

     In Galatians we see a phrase that continues to stump many believers.

Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

     The phrase “The law of Christ” is said to have an uncertain meaning and is found only in this verse. Some have stated that it is related to –

1 Corinthians 9:21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

     But under further examination we see that this verse is not connected to “The Law Of Christ” at all. It is dealing with a completely different aspect of our freedom in Christ – it states “the law to Christ” not “the law of Christ’.

     Here is how the discussion of Galatians 6:2 breaks down. Since God has created natural laws to govern His universe, then there must be a standard of conduct for His children to follow. If not, chaos and anarchy would follow. God is not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33). In the Old Testament God gave Moses laws for the Nation of Israel to follow. Following these laws did not grant them citizenship – that was not the purpose of law. The Law of Moses was simply a guide for people to follow to ensure unity, agreement, and peace in civil and personal relationships. And if they could follow the Law of Moses perfectly, then they would also have a right relationship with God. Without a standard, enforced by God and His called men, everyone would act according to his own desire, and nothing good would be found. God’s Kingdom will be peaceful and orderly because everyone will voluntarily submit themselves to the law of God. Under the New Testament, most Christians would agree that Christ either ‘replaced’, ‘completed’ or ‘fulfilled’ the previous Law of Moses. There are many New Testament verses that state that Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament Law, bringing it to completion and conclusion. And many believers would also say those born under the New Covenant would now have to follow “The Law of Christ”. To ensure that chaos and anarchy does not arise in our Churches or in the lives of the Believer.

     But what exactly is the “Law of Christ”, and how is it fulfilled by carrying each other’s burdens? The Bible does not specifically define what exactly is the “Law of Christ”. Most Bible teachers would say that the “Law of Christ” encompasses what Christ stated were the greatest commandments in –

Mark 12:28-31 And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all? And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

     And they would continue on to state that the “Law of Christ” is to love God with all of our being and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. In place of the Old Testament Law, Christians are to obey the “Law of Christ”. Rather than trying to remember the over 600 individual commandments in the Old Testament Law, Christians are simply to focus on loving God and loving others. If Christians would obey those two commands with their whole heart, we would be fulfilling everything that God requires of us. Many bible scholars would continue the teaching of the “Law Of Christ” by saying that

some use the fact that we are not under the Old Testament Law as an excuse to sin. The apostle Paul addresses this very issue in Romans 6:15. In the Believer’s life, the avoidance of sin will be accomplished out of love for God and love for others. When we recognize the value of Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf, our response is to be obedience. When we understand the sacrifice Jesus made for us and others, our response is to be to follow His example in expressing love to others. Our motivation for overcoming sin should be love, not a desire to legalistically obey a series of commandments. We are to obey the law of Christ because we love Him, not so that we can check off a list of commands that we successfully obeyed.

     Here in is the dilemma: how has that worked for us so far? How good have we been at loving others as God loved them? I do not know about you, but I can’t! I can’t love those who hurt me, hurt my family and hurt my Church family – as Christ loved them! And to add to that, if I can’t ‘obey’ the law of Moses, how can I ‘obey’ the “Law of Christ”? I can’t! In fact, I do not think God actually tells us to ‘obey’ it. He says this:

Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

     When you bear one another’s burdens – you will fulfill the law of Christ! I have also realized that since Love is an action word – I cannot love and I cannot bear another’s burdens either. I am awful at that! Oh I try to be nice to people, and I try to be kind, and I try to make them feel better about their terrible situation, but I am awful at really bearing their burden! Isn’t that what James is saying in James 2?

James 2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:

     If you can do all of the royal law (The Levitical Laws – The Laws of Moses) great! You do well! But you will not be able to, so … you are not so well I guess. Because if you break one part of the law of Moses, you are breaking the whole thing. So if you break one part of the “Law of Christ” you are breaking the whole thing. I cannot say I love God and not love others and I cannot say I love others and not love God. It is an all or nothing kind of law.

1 John 4:7-11 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.  He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.  In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.  Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

I have also learned that since I cannot do it – I must allow Christ to do it through me.

Galatians 2:20:21 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

      So here is my conclusion, since I cannot in my own ability love others as I should and I cannot in my own ability love God as I should, then the “Law of Christ” is not a ‘command’ type law, but a natural law. Natural law, or the law of nature, is determined by nature, therefore it is universal. Some call this scientific law. In that we can observe nature through repeated experimental observations that describe some aspect of nature. A natural law or scientific law always is true under the same conditions, and implies that there is a causal relationship involving its elements (they are connected to each other through cause and effect).

     We can see examples of this in the four laws of thermodynamics. These laws define physical qualities that characterize thermodynamic systems. We can also see an example of natural law in Newton’s law of universal gravitation which states that –

any two bodies in the universe attract each other with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.

     This is a law derived from experimental observations by Isaac Newton. These natural laws are a constant and cannot be changed. They were created by God to keep order in the universe. They are real, measurable and predictable. And just as gravity and thermodynamics are a natural law of the characteristics of nature. God is love … Christ is God … Christ is love. The characteristics or “law” of love is Christ. When Christ is allowed to live in you and through you – the “law of Christ” or the “Character of Christ” is shown. When we bear another’s burden then Christ is shown — His law is fulfilled just like when an apple falls from the tree it fulfills the law of gravity.

      We also see Paul saying the same thing in –

Romans 7:21-25 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

     The law of sin is the natural law that our flesh naturally desires things that feed its needs. The Law of God is the same as the “Law of Christ” – the natural law that I follow when I follow the Spirit and allow Him to live in and through me.

Galatians 5:16-18 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.  But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

     So go and do all you do to show people you love Christ on your own strength. But one day you will become weak and the world will think to themselves “you do not love Christ anymore” – or – allow Christ to live through you in His strength as you live everyday and the world will see Christ — so fulfill the law of Christ.

Can you BE anymore Holy?

I saw this quote today

“The more holy a man becomes, the more he will loathe and mourn over the remains of indwelling sin.” – C.H. Spurgeon

This made me ache inside – for a couple of reasons.

1) For us who live under the New Covenant – this is NOT true! When Christ went to the cross, He took my sins with Him! (Colossians 2:14 & 1 Peter 2:24) When I accepted Him as my Saviour, He made me HOLY & Righteous! And I cannot get ANY MORE holy than I am right now! Because of HIM – not me! (Hebrews 10:10,14)

And 2) Because it was said to someone who was hurting inside because of judgmental Christians.

I can give 100’s of verses to show these truths because I really desire for people to truly know who Christ is, what He did for them, and who they are in Him! It is His Life giving Gospel of Grace that the world needs to see in us and in our words!

Many will bring up what Paul said about being ‘chief of sinners’ when we talk about our identity in Christ, but it is important to realize that if Paul were claiming that his identity is a sinner in a “saved” state, he would be contradicting what he said about his identity in Christ in many other verses. So he could not mean that he was a sinner saved by grace. What is the answer? Paul was not saying that he still out-sinned everybody or that his identity was one of chief of sinners, because he was in Christ. Paul did not have the identity of a sinner and he did not see himself that way. He simply meant that before he knew Christ, nobody had topped his sinning record. It was something he never forgot. As a Pharisee, he had persecuted Christians by putting them in prison and even to death. After his experience on the road to Damascus he never got over his sense of the amazing grace that saved him – and neither should we.

Praise God that He did not take verses out of context – He gave us the full truth – because when we keep reading a verse that is out of context that has been given to say “we are still condemned unless we try to be more holy in our flesh” – we will see God explain Himself in truth! Keep reading …. the truth is better!

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. 10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

We need to be more aware of our holiness – more aware of our righteousness – more aware of our identity in Christ – more aware of who HE IS! This brings us to a place where we can allow Him to live in and through us! Praise God! We need to know His grace!

Titus 2:11-13 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;

I praise God our righteousness is not in our actions or in our flesh. Never has been and never will be. Our righteousness is in our spirit. Our spirit is righteous when we accept God’s Eternal Redemptive Plan – Christ as our Saviour – because He has created a New Creature in us! 63 times God says in the New Testament that believers are Saints – separated unto Him – by Him! Praise Him for this wonderful truth! He established His righteousness in me! Whooohooo!

Family Dynamics

Family dynamics is one area in ministry that continues to amaze me. I always say “when there is a funeral or a wedding – we see the horns come out”. Although this is true, the reality is that anytime families get together there can potentially be issues. The question always comes up “Why?” … “Why does this happen to families?” Here is my take on this, families are comfortable with each other, families have history with each other, and families know each other more than anyone else.

I was raised in a large city in a middle class family. We started out as a poor family, but by the time I was in Jr. High, we were solidly in ‘middle class’ range. This probably was the cause of some of the confusion and struggles. Our mom still acted as if we were poor and us kids didn’t understand it. I am glad for that now because I have an understanding of money and not living beyond my means. There were four boys and then three girls that were adopted later. Although I never lived with the three sisters (they were adopted after I was out of the house) I love them and treat them as one of my siblings – because they are! But because of the large gap in ages, our different lifestyles, our parents divorced after I was married and our living in different parts of the state, we had not gotten together as siblings in almost 24 years – until last summer.

My youngest brother, along with the middle sister, began organizing our first sibling reunion. I was all excited about it, until I found that our mom had also been invited. We had determined that since our parents had divorced and there was still some ‘issues’ there, that we would not invite either parent. Our father passed away before the event, so the youngest brother invited mom now that dad was not around. This is where the family dynamics began. 🙂 Mom has always been the catalyst for ‘issues’ and ‘drama’ in our family. She knows us better than most and knows what sets us off … and uses that to ‘help’ her cause.

The weekend went off great (with a few minor ‘issues’). Mainly because everyone was walking on eggshells. But after the weekend was over … there it went. Problems with one grandchild putting pictures on the internet without prior approval and problems with who paid and who didn’t pay.

Today, most would say … “yea, it was fun, but maybe we will wait a while for another one”. Sad as it may seem, it is probably more common than not. Family ‘issues’ or family dynamics – whatever you want to call it – can ruin any family get together.

I do have a solution though … forget and forgive! I know, it seems too simple. But it really is. As families grow apart, they also grow older. Growing older does something to everyone – it changes them. I am NOTHING like I was 10 years ago or for that matter 24 years ago. I also do not believe I will be the same 10 years from now.

So first – forget! Forget who they were, what they did, how they acted, their past personality and learn who they are today! Set aside what you think about them because of past mistakes and get to know them for who they are today. You may still not like them, but at least they cannot say “I am not that person anymore”. You can say “You are right, but the person you are today I still do not like”, but at least you will not be making assumptions about them. Who knows – you might even like them more today! Also forget what others say about them. Every family member is vying for acceptance for each other. If they have to ‘stretch the truth’ a bit to make that happen – they will. So will you – so don’t judge them for it! Do not take what one family member says about another family member as truth unless you saw or heard it with your own eyes. Forget!

And then forgive! Forgive them for the hurts they did in the past, the hurts they did yesterday, the hurts they did today AND the hurts they will do tomorrow! Forgiveness is a wonderful thing! It releases the power or influence they had over you. When you don’t forgive, you are saying “the thing you did to me has control over my emotions and actions”. That is exactly what unforgiveness is. Forgive – allow that hurt to go away and take control back of your emotions and actions.

Family dynamics is a funny thing. This post will probably make my family unhappy – hope they will forgive and forget, but what all of what I have said is true. Just in case you are saying “Why don’t you?”. I have! This blog is about helping others, not slamming my family – I love each and everyone of them and I know I have forgotten and forgiven!

So the next time your family gets together – take my advice and forget and forgive before you walk in the door – your time will be much better and you will have a time of your life! I know I did!

Can Stress From Trauma Be Helped With “Spiritual Things”?

Over the years, I have counseled many people who have come to me because of stress, anxiety, pain, and depression relating back to a trauma in their life. Many times these symptoms are packaged together and called PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder). In essence this means: those that have gone through trauma will afterwards have varying levels of stress that can manifest itself in numerous ways. If left untreated, these symptoms can become worse. We may see addiction to drugs or alcohol, self-injury, compulsiveness, eating disorders and self-destructive actions. Trauma can include anything from childhood abuse to first responder or military action. Although the reason for the trauma may come from different sources, the way we engage those who suffer from this trauma is usually similar. The good news is – PTSD is treatable!

Can we discuss Spiritual things and treating physical stress symptoms stemming from trauma at the same time? Can they both coexist? As a Christian, I counsel others that, ultimately, any healing from any situation has to come from the One who eternally heals. In fact, God does tell us in His Word that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12) and “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds” (2 Corinthians 10:4) Stress manifestations as the result of trauma affects the body. Medical science tells us there are changes in brain chemistry and changes to the brain structure as a result of trauma. Medical doctors will treat the physical with drugs that affect brain chemistry that attempt to improve the symptoms of the trauma. Sometimes, the medical side effects of these drugs can be as bad as what they are trying to cure. Stress manifestations as the result of trauma also affects the soul. The soul is the part of every human being that encompasses the mind, thoughts, and will of a person. Along with the physical aspects of the trauma, there are also soul aspects that affect those who have gone through trauma.

If you have symptoms from trauma related stress, or you know someone who does, then you know that it goes deeper than the physical trauma. You know that the trauma affects the soul. The human body has an amazing ability to repair itself after a physical trauma. But we don’t just “get over it” and go on as if nothing happened to us. Our soul needs healing as well. Our souls can carry wounds, just the same as our bodies. According to God’s Word, our soul is effected by our spirit. This is why we need the One who can heal the soul like none other! This is why we should discuss the ‘spiritual’ when dealing with the stress manifestations that stem from trauma.

There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. – Hebrews 4:9-16

This ‘article’ is about how the person who has survived a trauma can reclaim his or her life through Spiritual counseling. I do not intend to get into a philosophical debate and I do not intend to push or offend any religion. My desire is simply to help people see God for who He is and see the survivor for who they are – as God sees them, and hopefully they are able to draw strength from that truth.

When I first began to research the link between the spiritual counseling and trauma years ago, I found that many people thought that when I talked about ‘spiritual things’ it would be too much for someone trying to cope with the day-to-day stress of the trauma. This usually came from a common misconception that ‘spiritual things’ and ‘religion’ are the same, and that ‘religion’ was not necessary in the treatment for soul trauma. These people place ‘spirituality’ at the end after they took care of the basic treatments for the stress first. Surprisingly, among Christians, this is also the natural tendency, but it is never the best approach to any kind of real healing. As an ordained minister since 2000, I have had years of training and experience in counseling, and it has been my experience that placing the ‘spiritual’ first is the best thing to do for people dealing with any trauma. Christ needs to be the foundation for healing; and if He is not, true and lasting healing cannot be found.

When someone finds themselves on the other side of a trauma, they ask themselves “what do I do now?” Many times we who are Christians will respond with statements like “go to Jesus”, “go to Church” or “you need to find God again”. But how does someone who has gone through a trauma that no one else went through “find God again”, when most likely they are feeling lonely as they never have felt before? What many Christians do not know is, trauma can cause a disconnection from our spirit, soul and body. This disconnect happens as a defense mechanism against feeling the effects of the trauma. For many this disconnect can also be prolonged and manifest itself in their relationships with family, friends, and with God.

Many people who have gone through trauma become angry at God. They may ask “where were you when that happened to me?”, “why didn’t you protect me?” or “where are you now?” They may feel as if they are broken or are not worthy to be loved by God or anyone else, but it is necessary for them to ultimately understand that God does love them – unconditionally. That being said, it is essential that we do not ‘cram’ religion’, God, or the Bible down their throats. They need to be given permission to come to God in their own time. For most, they will have to create a new relationship to God, one that is based on love, acceptance, and grace. If these qualities were understood before the trauma, they are often shaken after the trauma. They are usually replaced with feelings of judgment, shame and guilt.

I have put together a few things that those who have gone through a trauma can do to help them create a healthy relationship to God and ultimately find true healing in their lives. Those who are the friends and family of the survivor should not use these as a ‘prescription’ to become a healthy person nor as a check list for treatment. They do not necessarily need to be done in this exact order, but many times this may be the natural order. I would also add, if the survivor is currently manifesting major symptoms (especially with drugs, alcohol, self-harming or being harmful to others) they should seek professional treatment to deal with these symptoms alongside seeking out a spiritual counselor. There should never be a ‘one tier’ or ‘one way’ approach to any treatment – we do not do this with cancer, heart disease or any other physical trauma.

Remember this is a journey, not a destination. Christ is the destination and should always be our hope that we hold on to!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead – 1 Peter 1:3

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Work together as a team. In almost every case of major physical sickness and trauma, a team of doctors will confer and come up with a team approach. This is the same idea. The worst thing that can happen is for the family members and friends to argue and fight and begin pulling the survivor in different directions. Many times the survivor manifests or hides the symptoms from different people, the more people you can get together, the better. This will help all see the true nature of the stress symptoms. There should be an initial meeting with all involved as soon as the symptoms present themselves. This meeting should be bathed in prayer, started in prayer and ended in prayer.

Everyone involved has to understand that everyone is in agreement as to the final outcome – their family member or friend to find healing! There may be different ways and different treatments as to how to bring the healing, but the focus needs to be on getting the survivor the help they need. If the survivor is in denial of the problem (which in many cases – is the situation) or there is already a lot of arguing and fighting that has occurred, a meeting without the survivor may be necessary. If possible, a pastor or spiritual counselor should be present to help keep the focus on Christ. Sometimes the family members and friends are ‘too close’ to see the needs without the emotion of the situation clouding the best path. This is normal and to be expected, so a counselor can help with this.

Once a plan has been established, the survivor needs to have someone with them as they go through the process. Someone to take them to meetings and drive them if necessary. This can be done by setting up multiple people to show to them that they are loved by all.

The ‘team’ needs to meet back on a regular basis to review the progress and to continue to pray for the survivor. This is helpful for situations when the survivor is in denial about the need for help or their symptoms are becoming more and more harmful. Having a ‘team’ approach can help when it is apparent that the survivor is beyond their ‘reach’ for helping them in the physical – so the ‘team’ becomes a support group for each other to pray and encourage the others.

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The survivor and their ‘team’ need to be honest about the effects the trauma has had on their life. Trauma affects lives in so many different ways. It is important to talk openly about how it has affected their own life and the lives of everyone around them. It may have had an impact on their relationships, self-esteem, feelings of safety, and their employment. There are symptoms that many times only the survivor knows about (or the spouse or close friend) and it needs to be shared with others. This will help lessen the shame and guilt associated with the results of their actions. There should be no judging or blame pointing – this never truly helps the survivor find healing.

The survivor and all of those in their support group need to acknowledge that the symptoms of the trauma are real. Some people are unaware they have any symptoms and therefore are unaware that they are having any effect on others around them. They experience changes in their personality, in their behaviors, and in their relationships, but have no idea what is happening to them.

The survivor, as well as the ‘team’, may want to write a list of the effects the trauma has had on them. Include all aspects of their life – the physical, emotional, relational, financial, and the sexual.

For many “substance abuse” is a symptom that needs to be understood. A survivor of trauma is at a significantly greater risk of developing some type of addiction. Substance abuse is the misuse of alcohol, drugs – prescription or illegal – or any other substance used to alter their mood. Any substance is easily abused because of the enormous stress resulting from the trauma. These substances many times soothe anxiety, depression, fear, anger, and guilt. Whatever the reason these substances are used, continued use of mood altering substances is abuse and can lead to addiction. Although there is a slight distinction between someone who abuses and someone who suffers from an addiction, substance abusers may be on their way towards addiction. In this respect, both need intervention from the ‘team’ to decrease the likelihood of more severe consequences. Helping someone who is abusing substances takes courage and the support of others as well as professional help. Do not be afraid to find a place where the survivor can go for a set period of time to help them cope with the changes in the chemistry of the brain. When dealing with substance abuse or addiction with someone who has had trauma in their life, there are a few things to consider that may be different than when dealing with someone who abuses substances that have not had any trauma. (Treating Addicted Survivors of Trauma by Katie Evans, PhD & J. Michael Sullivan, PhD)

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Help the survivor write a list of characteristics they want in God. There should be no limitations given to them. At this point you should not be trying to ‘educate’ them in who God is – they may not be ready for that yet. Most of us want things that we do not know that God can give us. We also may desire God to have the same characteristics we want in a close friend or someone we feel safe around. If limitations or given, we limit our God. Most people do not understand that if given the opportunity, God can and does meet every need we have; but through religion or ‘experience’ we have come to believe that God is not ‘that kind of God’ – when is reality He is. In order to truly appreciate what God can offer us in terms of healing, we must first have a basic understanding of who God is. Allow them to take time to develop this list because they may not know exactly what they need or want initially. Pray with them and encourage them to think about this as openly as they can. Be willing to listen to them when they are angry with God and may even question the existence of God. Keep pointing them back to the list of wants and desires they want from God – if He did exist.

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Although we talked about a team approach to getting help. Many times a person who has gone through a trauma will need to find one (1) loving and understanding person to share their journey with. This is obviously can be a delicate matter. They need to choose someone who believes in God, someone of the same sex, and is a part of their ‘team’, but may or may not be a family member. Many times family members will feel like adding an ‘outsider’ to the team is not good to do, but the survivor needs someone they can be honest with and feel safe around as they share their experience and how they are feeling. Maybe even someone else who has survived a similar experience.

This person should be someone who they can share some of their ‘journaling’ with and someone who they can openly talk about their spiritual condition – without any judgment or consequences.

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Use the list above that describes their characteristics of God, to find verses in the Bible that describe God as a God who can fill their needs and write them down. Pray using these verses and claim them as truth for the survivor. When the time is right (you will know it because they will begin to be more open to ‘spiritual things’), show them these verses and how they show that God does meet every one of their desires and wants. This should be done by one person that the survivor has naturally sought out for godly wisdom and these verses should be introduced slowly with prayer and understanding. They will need help to understand that God, though He is not physically with us, He still can and does meet our needs. Understanding who God is will help in the process of healing the stress and pain of the trauma.

Make a list of ways that God can be seen in our lives and in theirs that manifest these same characteristics they are looking for. Sometimes seeing a written word about God is not as impactful as seeing a manifestation of God in the lives of others around us or in nature that surrounds us. When the survivor begins to see evidence of these characteristics around them, they will begin to feel connected to God and His love and grace that He has for them.

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Encourage the survivor to communicate with God. Talking with God should be like talking to your best friend. This can even be done through letters – after all, God has written us the most beautiful letter ever written! Remember, there are no right way or wrong way to talk with God. Many times we put God in a box as to how we talk to Him, but I see all forms of conversations men and women had with God in the Bible. I do not believe God can’t handle our lack of ‘formal communication’. Be specific – if there is something that they are struggling with, encourage them to write it down. Do not forget to talk with God about the times and ways He has been helping. Sometimes when we are in the middle of ‘the process’ we get too focused on all the ‘bad’ and we forget the ‘good’ that is all around us!

One way to do this may be to write out a few things to say to Him on a daily basis – affirmations or words to stand on that they can refer back to. They can put them in places where they can be seen as they go through their day.

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Part of the survivor’s journey is dealing with ‘backwards’ steps. Everything is going good in their life – they are not abusing any substance, they are controlling their anger and forming trust again, and are staying away from the known triggers of their stress. Then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere – there is another ‘episode’. Symptoms come back, a relationship with a friend, spouse or even with God gets strained; there is a return to alcohol, drugs, or porn to smooth over the feelings and to try to cover the guilt or shame. At that moment, the urge will come to give up hope, to become isolated from healthy relationships, take the drugs, and eventually harm themselves. Many people will cry out to them “don’t give in!” or “you’ll get over it.” But for those who have had trauma symptoms and for those family and friends who have experienced how a loved one seems to fade away into a downward spiral, we know there is more to it than just saying a few ‘helpful’ words.

Trauma in any of our lives can damage our soul and make our minds think about destructive things. In trying to heal those who have been mentally wounded by trauma we must think of this as a journey and a process. This is not an easy journey for any of us. It may take time for the survivor to develop a meaningful relationship with God. As with any relationship, it takes time and effort, but I know by experience, that if all of us will put the effort into helping our friend find true healing and they will put the effort into finding that healing – healing from God will come! I have seen situations that everyone thought was ‘too far gone’ for God, that become incredible testimonies of God’s grace and love! It has to start with a willingness to believe God and a willingness to allow God to be a part of the healing process. We all have to have forgiveness, seek reconciliation, and want to continue to move forward in the grace of Christ.

The Hurt of A Pastor

You know I think about how much I love being a pastor of a Church. I do – I REALLY do! There are so many positives in my life – Christ Number One. There are some ‘downers’ as well; but I have noticed those downers are basically there because of me. I care for people. I care that their marriages stay together, I care that their children are safe and know Christ, I care that people live a life that is glorifying to Christ and I care that they know I love them. But it is not in that caring that hurt and stress comes from. It comes from me thinking and wanting to fix all of their problems. I find myself realizing I can’t and in reality – I wasn’t supposed to anyway. My job is to love from the love of Christ in me. Yes, I will still hurt because I love them and do not want to see them hurt.

1 John 4:7-11 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

I feel that is exactly what Christ felt. It was in that loving the world that He was hurt. I have been “training” a few men to minister with me here in our Church. Part of that training has been to show them Christ and His love and grace for them. It has been fun to see them “get it” and begin serving each other because of God’s love for them. I pray I do not teach them the way I did things wrong, but that they will learn that it is because of God’s love – we can love, we can forgive, we can have grace, and we can hurt.