Over the years, I have counseled many people who have come to me because of stress, anxiety, pain, and depression relating back to a trauma in their life. Many times these symptoms are packaged together and called PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder). In essence this means: those that have gone through trauma will afterwards have varying levels of stress that can manifest itself in numerous ways. If left untreated, these symptoms can become worse. We may see addiction to drugs or alcohol, self-injury, compulsiveness, eating disorders and self-destructive actions. Trauma can include anything from childhood abuse to first responder or military action. Although the reason for the trauma may come from different sources, the way we engage those who suffer from this trauma is usually similar. The good news is – PTSD is treatable!
Can we discuss Spiritual things and treating physical stress symptoms stemming from trauma at the same time? Can they both coexist? As a Christian, I counsel others that, ultimately, any healing from any situation has to come from the One who eternally heals. In fact, God does tell us in His Word that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12) and “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds” (2 Corinthians 10:4) Stress manifestations as the result of trauma affects the body. Medical science tells us there are changes in brain chemistry and changes to the brain structure as a result of trauma. Medical doctors will treat the physical with drugs that affect brain chemistry that attempt to improve the symptoms of the trauma. Sometimes, the medical side effects of these drugs can be as bad as what they are trying to cure. Stress manifestations as the result of trauma also affects the soul. The soul is the part of every human being that encompasses the mind, thoughts, and will of a person. Along with the physical aspects of the trauma, there are also soul aspects that affect those who have gone through trauma.
If you have symptoms from trauma related stress, or you know someone who does, then you know that it goes deeper than the physical trauma. You know that the trauma affects the soul. The human body has an amazing ability to repair itself after a physical trauma. But we don’t just “get over it” and go on as if nothing happened to us. Our soul needs healing as well. Our souls can carry wounds, just the same as our bodies. According to God’s Word, our soul is effected by our spirit. This is why we need the One who can heal the soul like none other! This is why we should discuss the ‘spiritual’ when dealing with the stress manifestations that stem from trauma.
There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. – Hebrews 4:9-16
This ‘article’ is about how the person who has survived a trauma can reclaim his or her life through Spiritual counseling. I do not intend to get into a philosophical debate and I do not intend to push or offend any religion. My desire is simply to help people see God for who He is and see the survivor for who they are – as God sees them, and hopefully they are able to draw strength from that truth.
When I first began to research the link between the spiritual counseling and trauma years ago, I found that many people thought that when I talked about ‘spiritual things’ it would be too much for someone trying to cope with the day-to-day stress of the trauma. This usually came from a common misconception that ‘spiritual things’ and ‘religion’ are the same, and that ‘religion’ was not necessary in the treatment for soul trauma. These people place ‘spirituality’ at the end after they took care of the basic treatments for the stress first. Surprisingly, among Christians, this is also the natural tendency, but it is never the best approach to any kind of real healing. As an ordained minister since 2000, I have had years of training and experience in counseling, and it has been my experience that placing the ‘spiritual’ first is the best thing to do for people dealing with any trauma. Christ needs to be the foundation for healing; and if He is not, true and lasting healing cannot be found.
When someone finds themselves on the other side of a trauma, they ask themselves “what do I do now?” Many times we who are Christians will respond with statements like “go to Jesus”, “go to Church” or “you need to find God again”. But how does someone who has gone through a trauma that no one else went through “find God again”, when most likely they are feeling lonely as they never have felt before? What many Christians do not know is, trauma can cause a disconnection from our spirit, soul and body. This disconnect happens as a defense mechanism against feeling the effects of the trauma. For many this disconnect can also be prolonged and manifest itself in their relationships with family, friends, and with God.
Many people who have gone through trauma become angry at God. They may ask “where were you when that happened to me?”, “why didn’t you protect me?” or “where are you now?” They may feel as if they are broken or are not worthy to be loved by God or anyone else, but it is necessary for them to ultimately understand that God does love them – unconditionally. That being said, it is essential that we do not ‘cram’ religion’, God, or the Bible down their throats. They need to be given permission to come to God in their own time. For most, they will have to create a new relationship to God, one that is based on love, acceptance, and grace. If these qualities were understood before the trauma, they are often shaken after the trauma. They are usually replaced with feelings of judgment, shame and guilt.
I have put together a few things that those who have gone through a trauma can do to help them create a healthy relationship to God and ultimately find true healing in their lives. Those who are the friends and family of the survivor should not use these as a ‘prescription’ to become a healthy person nor as a check list for treatment. They do not necessarily need to be done in this exact order, but many times this may be the natural order. I would also add, if the survivor is currently manifesting major symptoms (especially with drugs, alcohol, self-harming or being harmful to others) they should seek professional treatment to deal with these symptoms alongside seeking out a spiritual counselor. There should never be a ‘one tier’ or ‘one way’ approach to any treatment – we do not do this with cancer, heart disease or any other physical trauma.
Remember this is a journey, not a destination. Christ is the destination and should always be our hope that we hold on to!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead – 1 Peter 1:3
Work together as a team. In almost every case of major physical sickness and trauma, a team of doctors will confer and come up with a team approach. This is the same idea. The worst thing that can happen is for the family members and friends to argue and fight and begin pulling the survivor in different directions. Many times the survivor manifests or hides the symptoms from different people, the more people you can get together, the better. This will help all see the true nature of the stress symptoms. There should be an initial meeting with all involved as soon as the symptoms present themselves. This meeting should be bathed in prayer, started in prayer and ended in prayer.
Everyone involved has to understand that everyone is in agreement as to the final outcome – their family member or friend to find healing! There may be different ways and different treatments as to how to bring the healing, but the focus needs to be on getting the survivor the help they need. If the survivor is in denial of the problem (which in many cases – is the situation) or there is already a lot of arguing and fighting that has occurred, a meeting without the survivor may be necessary. If possible, a pastor or spiritual counselor should be present to help keep the focus on Christ. Sometimes the family members and friends are ‘too close’ to see the needs without the emotion of the situation clouding the best path. This is normal and to be expected, so a counselor can help with this.
Once a plan has been established, the survivor needs to have someone with them as they go through the process. Someone to take them to meetings and drive them if necessary. This can be done by setting up multiple people to show to them that they are loved by all.
The ‘team’ needs to meet back on a regular basis to review the progress and to continue to pray for the survivor. This is helpful for situations when the survivor is in denial about the need for help or their symptoms are becoming more and more harmful. Having a ‘team’ approach can help when it is apparent that the survivor is beyond their ‘reach’ for helping them in the physical – so the ‘team’ becomes a support group for each other to pray and encourage the others.
The survivor and their ‘team’ need to be honest about the effects the trauma has had on their life. Trauma affects lives in so many different ways. It is important to talk openly about how it has affected their own life and the lives of everyone around them. It may have had an impact on their relationships, self-esteem, feelings of safety, and their employment. There are symptoms that many times only the survivor knows about (or the spouse or close friend) and it needs to be shared with others. This will help lessen the shame and guilt associated with the results of their actions. There should be no judging or blame pointing – this never truly helps the survivor find healing.
The survivor and all of those in their support group need to acknowledge that the symptoms of the trauma are real. Some people are unaware they have any symptoms and therefore are unaware that they are having any effect on others around them. They experience changes in their personality, in their behaviors, and in their relationships, but have no idea what is happening to them.
The survivor, as well as the ‘team’, may want to write a list of the effects the trauma has had on them. Include all aspects of their life – the physical, emotional, relational, financial, and the sexual.
For many “substance abuse” is a symptom that needs to be understood. A survivor of trauma is at a significantly greater risk of developing some type of addiction. Substance abuse is the misuse of alcohol, drugs – prescription or illegal – or any other substance used to alter their mood. Any substance is easily abused because of the enormous stress resulting from the trauma. These substances many times soothe anxiety, depression, fear, anger, and guilt. Whatever the reason these substances are used, continued use of mood altering substances is abuse and can lead to addiction. Although there is a slight distinction between someone who abuses and someone who suffers from an addiction, substance abusers may be on their way towards addiction. In this respect, both need intervention from the ‘team’ to decrease the likelihood of more severe consequences. Helping someone who is abusing substances takes courage and the support of others as well as professional help. Do not be afraid to find a place where the survivor can go for a set period of time to help them cope with the changes in the chemistry of the brain. When dealing with substance abuse or addiction with someone who has had trauma in their life, there are a few things to consider that may be different than when dealing with someone who abuses substances that have not had any trauma. (Treating Addicted Survivors of Trauma by Katie Evans, PhD & J. Michael Sullivan, PhD)
Help the survivor write a list of characteristics they want in God. There should be no limitations given to them. At this point you should not be trying to ‘educate’ them in who God is – they may not be ready for that yet. Most of us want things that we do not know that God can give us. We also may desire God to have the same characteristics we want in a close friend or someone we feel safe around. If limitations or given, we limit our God. Most people do not understand that if given the opportunity, God can and does meet every need we have; but through religion or ‘experience’ we have come to believe that God is not ‘that kind of God’ – when is reality He is. In order to truly appreciate what God can offer us in terms of healing, we must first have a basic understanding of who God is. Allow them to take time to develop this list because they may not know exactly what they need or want initially. Pray with them and encourage them to think about this as openly as they can. Be willing to listen to them when they are angry with God and may even question the existence of God. Keep pointing them back to the list of wants and desires they want from God – if He did exist.
Although we talked about a team approach to getting help. Many times a person who has gone through a trauma will need to find one (1) loving and understanding person to share their journey with. This is obviously can be a delicate matter. They need to choose someone who believes in God, someone of the same sex, and is a part of their ‘team’, but may or may not be a family member. Many times family members will feel like adding an ‘outsider’ to the team is not good to do, but the survivor needs someone they can be honest with and feel safe around as they share their experience and how they are feeling. Maybe even someone else who has survived a similar experience.
This person should be someone who they can share some of their ‘journaling’ with and someone who they can openly talk about their spiritual condition – without any judgment or consequences.
Use the list above that describes their characteristics of God, to find verses in the Bible that describe God as a God who can fill their needs and write them down. Pray using these verses and claim them as truth for the survivor. When the time is right (you will know it because they will begin to be more open to ‘spiritual things’), show them these verses and how they show that God does meet every one of their desires and wants. This should be done by one person that the survivor has naturally sought out for godly wisdom and these verses should be introduced slowly with prayer and understanding. They will need help to understand that God, though He is not physically with us, He still can and does meet our needs. Understanding who God is will help in the process of healing the stress and pain of the trauma.
Make a list of ways that God can be seen in our lives and in theirs that manifest these same characteristics they are looking for. Sometimes seeing a written word about God is not as impactful as seeing a manifestation of God in the lives of others around us or in nature that surrounds us. When the survivor begins to see evidence of these characteristics around them, they will begin to feel connected to God and His love and grace that He has for them.
Encourage the survivor to communicate with God. Talking with God should be like talking to your best friend. This can even be done through letters – after all, God has written us the most beautiful letter ever written! Remember, there are no right way or wrong way to talk with God. Many times we put God in a box as to how we talk to Him, but I see all forms of conversations men and women had with God in the Bible. I do not believe God can’t handle our lack of ‘formal communication’. Be specific – if there is something that they are struggling with, encourage them to write it down. Do not forget to talk with God about the times and ways He has been helping. Sometimes when we are in the middle of ‘the process’ we get too focused on all the ‘bad’ and we forget the ‘good’ that is all around us!
One way to do this may be to write out a few things to say to Him on a daily basis – affirmations or words to stand on that they can refer back to. They can put them in places where they can be seen as they go through their day.
Part of the survivor’s journey is dealing with ‘backwards’ steps. Everything is going good in their life – they are not abusing any substance, they are controlling their anger and forming trust again, and are staying away from the known triggers of their stress. Then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere – there is another ‘episode’. Symptoms come back, a relationship with a friend, spouse or even with God gets strained; there is a return to alcohol, drugs, or porn to smooth over the feelings and to try to cover the guilt or shame. At that moment, the urge will come to give up hope, to become isolated from healthy relationships, take the drugs, and eventually harm themselves. Many people will cry out to them “don’t give in!” or “you’ll get over it.” But for those who have had trauma symptoms and for those family and friends who have experienced how a loved one seems to fade away into a downward spiral, we know there is more to it than just saying a few ‘helpful’ words.
Trauma in any of our lives can damage our soul and make our minds think about destructive things. In trying to heal those who have been mentally wounded by trauma we must think of this as a journey and a process. This is not an easy journey for any of us. It may take time for the survivor to develop a meaningful relationship with God. As with any relationship, it takes time and effort, but I know by experience, that if all of us will put the effort into helping our friend find true healing and they will put the effort into finding that healing – healing from God will come! I have seen situations that everyone thought was ‘too far gone’ for God, that become incredible testimonies of God’s grace and love! It has to start with a willingness to believe God and a willingness to allow God to be a part of the healing process. We all have to have forgiveness, seek reconciliation, and want to continue to move forward in the grace of Christ.
Blake's Thoughts on Life 